So, This is What Hope Feels Like

I woke up this morning feeling like a weight has lifted. I will admit to you my superstition – yesterday was a good day. A bloody brilliant day, and I was afraid that things couldn’t be that good without the night ending in heartbreak. I got up early and voted, and felt like a part of history. The day was gorgeous – sunny and warm, and because it took us a while to get out of the high school parking lot, I had to take a later train into work. I sat on the platform and read in the sun for a half hour, waiting for the commuter train to arrive, and felt wonderful.

When I got to work, a coworker had done something very sweet for me. I’d given him some audiobooks I had lying around, and he in turn brings them to various places around the area – a hospital where people undergoing dialysis can listen to them while they receive their treatments, a nursing home, a center for the blind, all good places where they’ll be appreciated. I don’t do anything. I just toss them in a box and every couple of months, he takes what I have and spirits them away.

Well, it took a few minutes of asking if anyone had seen who left a $25 Dunkin Donuts gift certificate on my keyboard before I realized he’d been by last week to take another box.

So that was awesome.

Then my boss comes out and says our department has made our goal for the year, and we still have a month to go. We missed last year. I don’t think I’ve hit my personal one since, oh, 2002, or if I have I’ve only just squeaked by. Now, (dear sweet zombie Jesus, please don’t let me jinx this) the last 8% looks potentially achievable. This time last year, I was at 72%. So, wheeee.

It was a good day, and a good evening, so yeah, I went into the electoral-vote-vigil with a feeling of dread, thinking something had to give.

Well, it didn’t. I sat there with a goofy grin on my face from 11:00 on, and that feeling has carried through. For the first time in I don’t even know how long, I haven’t felt my heart sink listening to the morning news.

We have a long way to go still, I know that. There is no Secretary of Making Shit Better, nor is there a Magical Fix-It wand shoved into a drawer in the Oval Office.

But I feel good, and I feel hopeful, and I feel like maybe this momentum can carry through and get people involved and invested in ways they haven’t been before.

The idea of taking the day off occurred to me. It’s another nice day (though they’re predicting rain later), and I just want to run around outside, arms outstretched, whooping with joy. Maybe hugging random strangers.

But that kind of behavior would probably freak out the neighbors, so, y’know. Probably a good thing I came into work instead.

Onward. Upward.

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2 Responses to So, This is What Hope Feels Like

  1. Jewben says:

    Oh man I am TOTALLY gunning to be appointed Secretary of Making Shit Better.

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